I was amazed although not really surprised to read how much tweens value their material posessions. It seems clear that they believe that having certain "hot" items will help their social lives and self esteem, but I wonder why more of them do not realize that things do not solve problems. It was powerful to read about praise that helps them devalue the material stuff, but how can we as adults in their lives implement that praise in a meaningful and comprehensive way? I try to do my part with the kids I see every day, but does praise from me help kids who are constantly criticized at home? I think it's hard to gauge.
There was a great article in the New York Times Sunday Magazine that addressed gay youth, specifically tweens starting to come out to their peers and parents. This phenomenon is a cry for support from the adults who are meaningful in their lives. By accepting them for who they are we can take a giant step towards giving them the self concept and self esteem they need to let go of the material obsession and grow into productive, thoughtful adults. One school in California was a great example: the teachers came together to shun gay bashing and demoralizing comments and within a couple years many students came out to their classmates, friends, teachers and parents. They also started a Gay Straight Alliance that has become the most popular club at the school. Acceptance, even if not demonstratively vocalized can be a powerful tool to promote kids' self concept and self esteem.
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I hear you on that materialism thing. It's definitely huge, especially with tweens. In fact, since the word "tween" is a term that was developed by marketers, I'd say it applies to this age group head-on. Especially after having read Every Soul a Star and discussing the characters last week.
ReplyDeleteWhich makes me wonder, from reading your post--and I could be totally reading it wrong so stop me if I am--I wonder if the same tactics to defeat homophobia in that school from the NY Times can be applied to dealing with tweens' senses of materialism? The stigmata are similar and both issues run very deep, but I'm totally picturing a group of teachers banding together with "stop shopping" signs at their elementary school...It could work, I guess?
Anyway, whether or not this is the case or would work, yes, tweens are very materialistic, as are their parents, as are many of us. For me, it's almost more of a cultural issue than a community issue, so I think it runs deep...super deep. Those teachers would definitely have their work cut out for them.